Greater Manchester Probation Trust

Mum Breaks Cycle Of Abuse Thanks to Probation Officer

KELLY was a “total wreck” when she began her probation order, having being sentenced for drink driving.
The mum-of-two turned to alcohol as a support to help comfort her after splitting from her husband of 14 years. Although he never beat her, she suffered years of mental torment, and was left feeling suicidal.
Wine gave Kelly a means of escape, but one morning after shunting into a neighbour’s car while reversing down a driveway, she was breathlised by police and found to be way inexcess of the limit.

She said: “It was a terrible, terrible time in my life.
“I blamed myself for everything that had gone wrong and went on a downward spiral.
“As soon as I put my boys to bed I’d start drinking, and I can see now the offence was waiting to happen – although when it did I was devastated.”
Because Kelly was so far over the limit she was on the threshold of a jail term. She was sentenced to a 12 month Community Order, to attend the Drink Impaired Drivers (DIDs) Programme and a three year driving ban.
She said: “Although now I feel I’ve grown because of the experience and become a better person, at the time I was so stressed that I stopped eatting.
“My ex-husband was very controlling and kept on telling me how useless I was. For 14 years I was told I was a nobody. After the marriage collapsed I started drinking everyday, and drank to forget.
“I was probably drink driving every morning without thinking about it. When I crashed I panicked and ran off and locked myself in my house.”
Kelly, who at the time worked in a bank, had never been in trouble before, and hadn’t even got any points on her driving licence.
She said: “My confidence had already gone, but after the crash I spent everyday unable to look at anybody, I thought everyone knew what I’d done and I was so ashamed.
“I became paranoid. Even in the probation waiting room, I thought everyone was looking at me and my self-esteem was at rock bottom. I wasn’t able to communicate with people, or even meet people’s eyes in the street.
“I’d come in the probation centre in floods of tears, sitting in the waiting room was at times impossible for me. I was ill, suffering from anxiety, and was in desparate need of help.”
Kelly found DIDs hard because it included an element during which she had to make a presentation to the rest of the group. Her ex-husband also approached social services to allege she was an unfit mum.
Kelly had already stopped drinking excessively, and was making progress with her probation officer Elaine Jones.
She said: “Elaine went to see social services in her own time – I can never, ever thank her enough for that. She didn’t want things hanging over my head that could spark of more problems, she was like a mum to me.
“I was a wreck when I first met Elaine. More than anything, she believed in me and got me to believe in myself again.
“She even helped with the financial mess I’d gotten myself into. I was a banker hiding bills, but the alcohol I was buying had cost a lot. She also put me in touch with the Citizen’s Advice Bureaux.”
Elaine said Kelly had suffered years of domestic abuse which had reduced her to a physical mess.
She added: “It was clear her problem wasn’t alcohol related. She felt she wasn’t worthy of people speaking with her, was so frightened about doing anything wrong and had regular panic attacks.
“It was a long time since I’d seen a lady as frightened as that. She needed motivation and support, and the way she has turned her life around is truly remarkable.
“Kelly is a wonderful woman and I’m delighted by the progress she has made.”
Kelly has enrolled at university and is studying nursing.
She said: “I wouldn’t have felt worthy enough to do this without probation’s support, I feel like I’ve been reborn.
“My ex-husband still comes out with wize cracks, but I don’t need to listen anymore. My boys love me and that’s what matters to me.”